Square Hole, Round Peg
I'm excited about this topic that I've been thinking about for a while, basically how children on the Spectrum remind me of round pegs trying to fit into a square hole. I used to hear that expression a lot when talking to other parents when they tried to express their experiences with the education system. The more I thought about it the more I realized I wanted to expand on the idea, in order to help visualize a solution. Bear with me, it is a little convoluted, but I’ll get there.
First of all, we have to start with the image of what it is like to fit a round peg in a square hole. Impossible really. You can try turning the peg this way and that, but the same thing happens, regardless of your efforts. It doesn’t fit.
So how does this relate to Autism and the education system? To me, the education system is the square hole and the child with Autism is the round peg. For me, picturing the educational system as a box conjures up the image of a container with rigid sides and something that is difficult to move. A structure without wheels, if you will. Also if something doesn’t fit into the box, it gets left out, put into another box. The whole concept of the education system being a box is also appropriate to me, because I have always been one to think outside of the box, hence the title of my podcast, “Outside the Box” (coming soon!).
A peg or circle, on the other hand, conjures up the image of infinity, never ending, always on the move and therefore full of potential. That is how I feel about Autism. Infinite possibilities. The peg fits perfectly in its own round hole, but when you try to put it into that square hole, it isn’t going to fit, so now what?
Something has to give. These children will never become square pegs, so we have to stop trying to fit them in perfectly. No shaving off parts to fit - if only he could come into the school like everyone else, if only she could just pay attention, if only he could stop stimming, if only she could remain calm, if only, if only….
No, no shaving.
But what if we could expand that square to be just a little bit bigger? The peg would fit. But what does that expansion of the “square” education system look like? Expanding the system is a viable solution, and one in which, thankfully, school systems have made some amazing progress. Courses are offered for teachers and educational workers, occupational therapists and other professionals are consulted, Individual Education plans are created to examine needs and strategies. There are now warnings when fire alarms are going to go off, dismissals/entry times are flexible, and quiet spaces are provided for students to go to when they are overstimulated. The list is extensive and educational systems are really starting to adapt.
We, as a society, need to start looking at Autism and the educational system with this analogy in mind. These children will never become square pegs, so we have to stop trying to fit them in perfectly. No shaving off of parts, asking the child to change. Expand the system, and things will start to fit. Even this theory has some flaws, for when you expand the square, the peg fits but it's in there loosely, kind of flailing around. There is still wiggle room. So how can we make that fit rock solid? Where the round peg (children) feels supported, and the square hole (education system) also feels like it is doing its job? What we need is a bumper system or cushion inside of the square that would accommodate the peg and fill in the gaps so the fit is solid. No more flailing.
So my query for you today is: What does the bumper system or cushion look like? What does the expansion look like in your experience? Something to think about...
